Words without meanings

Love & Logic

Have you ever wished the long journeys you took derailed itself of the mundaneness, so that you could breathe differently?

Did you ever hope for a catastrophe to hit the town, so that your mind would have an alternative thought to choose from?

Have you ever wanted from the bottom of the heart to just be free of the thought clouds running behind you, chasing you, giving you free and sudden gasps?

“What is a life without adventure and adrenaline?” they say. Oh, but what is a life full of untimely tears and congested chests?

Twirl and twirl the alphabets move, in and out of the blurred tunnels of sight, you wonder if the reality is the Ship of Theseus.

Wonderless moments take you by an arm, on a merry ride to the steep falls and curves of tragedy, and you aren’t sure if this is exactly the type of vacation you had dreamt of.  But you take it anyway, hopelessly trying to keep up with ‘normal’.

Unless I had seen this sort of normal too, I could have never rescued you.

5 simple ways to reduce your anxiety

Lifestyle Elevation, Mindset

Let’s admit it we all go through anxious phases, and the current scenario has probably coaxed even the most carefree people down the spiraling lanes of anxiety.

Still, every moment we have a choice to not let those nightmares win, simply by being more cautious.

  1. Get moving. Because there is nothing better than simply asking our mind to shut up by giving it actual work to do. Be it walking, running, heavy exercise or just any random chore, make your body and mind work.
  2. Letting out all the bubbles inside you by sharing with someone, writing it down, or even recording it on your phone. Venting really helps. But remember not to pour it onto any other person.
  3. Sit still. Contradictory to my first point, but well at times you need to sit still and let your mind do the spiraling. Observe it being a lunatic. Don’t try to resist. At one point, it will get tired and decide to give up. You can then have a conversation with yourself as to asking a lot of introspective questions. Some of the answers will surprise you and get you clarity.
  4. Surround yourself with nature. It is the best healer, apart from time and patience. Have plants around you, in your home, go and sit at a park, touch and feel the beautiful greens and watch them magically lift your mood. They will remind you that your thoughts are so miniscule in comparison to the big old universe.
  5. Get in touch with your creative self. No, it does not have to be painting or writing only. Simply mapping out your life plan can be creative, sending a heartfelt message to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while can be creative, shuffling your furniture around the room, planning your outfits for the week, or helping in the kitchen can all be creative outlets. Do any damn thing that you enjoyed as a child, or try your hand at something for the first time and totally screw it up.

I am enough!

Love & Logic

I have realized that existence can be silent,

Yet so loud.

My existence shouts out things that I am

Afraid to tell

When you ask me who am I?

But you see

My existence points it out

Paints in on the outlines of my shadows

And brings it to the light of the day

Obscure lines I wasn’t prepared to admit

All too shiny

So shiny

That my eyes squint.

I realise I need to own my own

  • Shadows
  • Existence
  • Self

I need to stop squinting at the

Brightest painting of myself

I need to stop filtering my

Bright colours into the

Blacks and whites

Only then will you

See through me

Acceptance from you is a whole different topic.

Shall we discuss it later?

Flames

Love & Logic

How foolish I have been to try to wake you up

Amidst the thunders of things breaking you had slept

Slept until it was too late to witness the sunrise and sunset from our balconies,

Wrapped in each other, sheltered by the warm blanket that witnessed much of our naked bodies intertwined.

A sight that was never coming back. not at least when we were wildly drunk in the reality of the moment, till even the strongest rum couldn’t work wonders.

You knew I felt it in my heart all along and I know you knew so, but we twirled and twirled in the dark shadows of lies we wound for each other… and gradually what we knew as lie started seeming true.

But it only looked so.

The stark nakedness of the truth was just behind the curtains of the corner, hiding and standing alone in the distance, waiting for the distance to bow down to it. And it came. Not just in linear swift flowing streams like you would imagine.

Not as drops or showers on the thirsty grounds.

It came in growling thunders and storms, and washed away half of the pictures we had drawn for so long on the sand, in just one go, and opened up small crevices where the sand and the water started seeping through, taking those pictures obediently with them.

It gave out a smell so loud, had you been aware enough, you would have known. I didn’t mean to point it out and ruin your calm sleepy mode.

Neither did I imagine it, just a lanky figure without any beauty at all, would become such a beast at the slightest touch.

The air that night tasted bitter. Burnt. Like it had about eight years back.

When I had demanded the same things from myself. When I had shaken myself vigorously to make sure I cry. Because it was supposed to be sad.

A sad moment. Beginning of a sad lifetime.

I demanded the same again that night. And all the passing nights thereafter.

Only difference being this time I knew I was too burnt to cry.

Augustus wrote a letter.

Love & Logic

Augustus wrote a letter to Jamie.

A piece of heart folded like a paper, shaped nicely in an envelope.

Letters in a letter.

Bunch of words, grammar, culture, emotions and thoughts—jumbled upon, reshuffled thrice or maybe more times to make sense of the logic, to look like he is making any sense, adding to the logic, pretending to have logic in the first place.

Because, unlike the formal letters he had practiced in school, and some he had sent in the early years of job hunt; these letters aren’t supposed to fit in a template.

Shouldn’t we be having templates for all kinds of informal letters too?

Love letter templates.

Hate letter templates.

Good/Bad news letter templates.

I miss you letter templates.

But we don’t yet. So, the bunch of all those things rumble and crumble under the strict eyes of logic, posing multiple ways to impress any random eyes that might catch hold of the letter, who wouldn’t think it is creepy.

A piece of heart. A ‘Jamie-shaped’ piece of Augustus’ heart!

But this meant sending that Jamie-shaped piece to Jamie. Is that allowed? Are you allowed to love someone so much that you return the parts of them that you have been carrying ever so diligently, careful not to break; return it to their original owner?

Illusions

Love & Logic

Even as they walked hand in hand, steps aligned with steps, the sunlight beaming on each face alternately, something inside them had slipped, relieving them of its unsaid weight, and lifted off their earthly bodies, into the hearts of the heaven.

No body knew where they had come from, no body knew where they were destined to, only the path was laid out straight for them to walk through, as though in a trance, and they made no commotion about it. It set them free.

Identity less.

Emotion less.

This is the strange thing about life. About humans. You’re entirely a perspective. You’re entirely up to the eyes of the beholder. You’re entirely up to you.

Sometimes, it makes you wonder, if you ever really exist for real. Or are you, simply an idea, a floating commotion of earth, metals and all other biological materials clumped into an aesthetic, an aesthetic that exists just in illusion. But the closer you drift to a bodily visual, you realize everything is really smoke. There is no body.

Obsessions

Love & Logic

A picture defines a lot more than words can ever put together. However, Lisa was never really ready to agree. Or rather, should it be put in this way, that she didn’t care about the fact more than she did about M.

It has always been this way for her. Everyone had always agreed to what she had said. M was the only odd one she’d met in her entire lifetime, who seemed to have opinions of his own! How ridiculous is that?

And the more they talked, the more they fought, over literally everything. Afterall, M always put out his own logic, and his own ideas, or was simply quoting famous authors, and successful people.

M was clearly obsessed with opinions and quotations.

Lisa on the other hand, and quite luxuriously was obsessed with everyone abiding by her choices. Only her choices. The most pampered youngest child in such a huge household that she was.

And well, hard to admit it, but Ray was attracted to M for this singular, No, one of the many reasons, which made him just so unique. So very unique.

She was absolutely obsessed with M always contradicting her, she never felt so much lust for someone, because, now she realized, had never been opposed or confronted by anyone in the world.

Note: This is part of a series where I tell the tiny tales of a few characters close to my heart. Don’t ask me if they exist or are they just my imaginations! It’s always a blurry act in between. I would like to know your comments on them though. Here’s the Part 1 and Part 2 of this series. Happy reading!